i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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