Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
