will power is for people who don't want to get laid
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
