This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
