we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
