Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
