YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize