i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
