Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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