Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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