If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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