he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize