Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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