Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
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