farters have to be the big spoon...
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
