so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize