i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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