I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize