Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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