did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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