We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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