Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i think my mom watched the whole time
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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