Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
