I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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