Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
