You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
