I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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