Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
