I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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