that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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