I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
