Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Randomize
