C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
