I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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