never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
