Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
