Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize