Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
