Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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