How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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