Christians are straight up FREAKS
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
