SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
