used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
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