Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
