C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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