I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
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