3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
