In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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