i wish there were pregnant emoticons
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
