Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Green mimosas i think yes
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Of course I have a pirate flag
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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