they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
