I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
