marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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