so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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