Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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