Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
