im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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