I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
