just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
