she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
